I don’t know where to run to throw these feelings away.
Everything seems to be going against me. I feel far from anything, and I just can’t deny that.
It’s like I hush to myself, and say “Ssh! Just let it happen!”. In fact, that burns me a little.
I defined myself in super low self-esteem, and still haven’t got a clue about that. I didn’t believe in my writings anymore, and I didn’t know why would’ve that happened?
It’s hard to breathe, when all you feel is pain. I thought I knew myself, and it’s too difficult to realize that I’m not. I feel worse, yet worried. And I don’t know if I should feel this way or not. There must be something that isn’t right on my mind, where do I find the clue to fix that?
I’m not really into me now. It’s pathetic. Indeed.
Speaking about creativity, in writing, I can value myself. When I write, I put my heart into it. Want to know how it feels like?
It was like you can melt your heart from fire to ice. Ignore me, I’m just saying :)
When the computer is on, the screen seems can be a best friend. When you walk somewhere alone, and you find some good words, you just can’t stand to go home earlier and decide to write them into a script, and when you’ve done a book, trust me, you’ll see yourself in a different way, beside you feel better, you will get something we called self-actualization. Yes, self-actualization is also produced by your creativity.
By some people, it matters of how you lead your thoughts, your intuition, your sensitivity and your skill maturely. I knew myself in writing. Writing is the best thing I can do to make myself feel better. In writing I could get those what I couldn’t in reality.
For me, the beauty of fiction is in the language of escapist. Believe it, because you can see the imaginary language within. You imagine something, you capture, record it, and you translate it into words.
I wrote this not to make you feel “is it first-help before commit suicide?”, just to let you know there are so many good things you can do when you feel down, left or feels like there’s no one with you. You will get friends, a new world include, until you know how to explore your positivity and motivate your ego.
I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but if you write, we’re on the same place. Time is running so fast when you have nothing to do. So make it nicer by doing something worth living to your life. Now you can mark my words, turn on your computer, write, repeat, and trust me—it’s legal!
There’s always a space between us, different atmosphere, I don’t say it’s a line, but we seem just can’t move on and be a part.